Com-Central.net

Guido Sarducci was right, though he was more militant...he thought maybe they're being so close and all, maybe we should-a jus' nuke 'em.
Best line: "it's only a matter of time before we bring these Molson-swigging, maple-mongering Zamboni drivers to their knees!"

War Plan Red:

Raiding the Icebox
Behind Its Warm Front, the United States Made Cold Calculations to Subdue Canada

By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, December 30, 2005; Page C01

Invading Canada won't be like invading Iraq: When we invade Canada, nobody will be able to grumble that we didn't have a plan.

The United States government does have a plan to invade Canada. It's a 94-page document called "Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan -- Red," with the word SECRET stamped on the cover. It's a bold plan, a bodacious plan, a step-by-step plan to invade, seize and annex our neighbor to the north. It goes like this:

Any invasion of Canada by U.S. forces shouldn't underestimate the legendary Royal Canadian Mounted Police. (Patterson Clark -- The Washington Post)

First, we send a joint Army-Navy overseas force to capture the port city of Halifax, cutting the Canadians off from their British allies.

Then we seize Canadian power plants near Niagara Falls, so they freeze in the dark.

Then the U.S. Army invades on three fronts -- marching from Vermont to take Montreal and Quebec, charging out of North Dakota to grab the railroad center at Winnipeg, and storming out of the Midwest to capture the strategic nickel mines of Ontario.

Meanwhile, the U.S. Navy seizes the Great Lakes and blockades Canada's Atlantic and Pacific ports.

At that point, it's only a matter of time before we bring these Molson-swigging, maple-mongering Zamboni drivers to their knees! Or, as the official planners wrote, stating their objective in bold capital letters: "ULTIMATELY TO GAIN COMPLETE CONTROL."

* * *

It sounds like a joke but it's not. War Plan Red is real. It was drawn up and approved by the War Department in 1930, then updated in 1934 and 1935. It was declassified in 1974 and the word "SECRET" crossed out with a heavy pencil. Now it sits in a little gray box in the National Archives in College Park, available to anybody, even Canadian spies. They can photocopy it for 15 cents a page. (This is an OPSEC violation of the hightest order! -Ascout)

(con't in original article)

From the Washington Post:
www.washingtonpost.com...01412.html

The complete plan: ("Seize the canoe portages!")
www.glasnost.de/hist/u...asion.html

Oddly enought that is not the first time America has had that though and even more oddly we tried it on 3 occasions. Back in early American history we did try to invade Canada. It all occured around the time of the revolutionary war with the British. 3 times we tried, 3 times we failed...I learned this in a college American history class last year, I don't think there were any major battles, if I remember right by the time we made it up there our troops were half frozen and starved..lol..and actually I'm not sure if it was technically "Canada" then our not but more of a territory..or my mind could be compleely shot & I'm thinking of something else...I dunno..

"Today Canada, tomorrow.....Greenland!

Actually Hangman their were numerous large battles in the war of 1812 with the most bloody being at Lundy's Lane (near Niagra Falls) and Canada consisted of two parts at the time,upper and lower. The two most noteworthy Canadian hero's of that conflict were Sir Issac Brock and Joesph Brant both of which have many significant things and places named after them.This war has many fascinating chapters to it and many that are taught to all Canadian school kids in history class. And as far as that battle plan is concerned I can tell you that it is pure Pure folly! The average Canadian can sit in the basement and drink beer all winter long and a long winter it is.The average Amarican soldier would either die of bordom in the wait or end up running off with an eskimo chick.

You may laugh.
Don't forget we Brit's still fully intend to re-invade and annex the U.S. one July 5th (when you're all still incapacitated from July 4th).

LOL...Really...Do we want it back...

Last time we burned yer little WhiteHouse and charred it black...this time we'll paint it PINK!!!.....Bring it on ya bunch of sheep mongers..lol

btw..all that Molsons Canadian beer you guy's drink over there....them's the bottles we pissed in..LMAO

Thanks Dan for the clarification..I knew I had no idea what I was talking about..lol...they don't go into a whole lot of detail about it in the history classes down here..not sure if it's from embarrassment or what..lol...

- 401RCAF_HitMan

btw..all that Molsons Canadian beer you guy's drink over there....them's the bottles we pissed in..LMAO

So that's why it tastes like it does!

WOW you must be psycik or something cuz that is exactly what the local paper (the vancouver sun) said......well this is all cuit intreguing but if it does happen i can only say that its long over due

- Kitform

LOL...Really...Do we want it back...

Cheerleaders Kit, cheerleaders.

well a fella cant just read through this without leaving his 3 cents....first off......I know there are some states that can get a little chilly,,and even get a bit of frost now and then,,,lol....I truly dont think the average american understands just exactly how cold it gets here,,,,...if you did...you sure as hell wouldnt want any part of it...

as for military might....I think we would most definitly take a good lickin' even though our mountain commando's in B.C. could hold the entire U.S. army at bay in some of the strategic valleys for years.......to my knowledge they would actually welcome a good dust-up as the wood cutting and beaver trapping business is very slow these days.

I for one would be excited about an invasion as we would finally be in for some change...change is good...and seeing as our system of goverrnment is only out to rob its citizens instead of help,,,hey I'm all about some new leadership.........on that note......if the Bloc Quebecois party gets control of this country..please do us a favour and just nuke our asses,,,,it would save us a long , slow,, painfull death.....you americans want some huge laughs,,,,do some reading on them buncha clowns.....

but back to the whole cold thing again.......I currently live and work in central alberta......last winter at its coldest it dropped to -52 degrees celsius for 2.5 days....I was out plowing snow in a 950 cat front end loader and broke the entire front end super-structure in half.....we are talking 2 inch solid steel plate......SNAAAAAAAPPPP.......yeah,,,,6 yard bucket laying there on main street.........but it gets better,,,,,,maybe try going out to do some shopping in -30 celsius with a good windchill,,,,,,,sucks the life right outa ya'......then you take your hand outa your glove to open the car door ...oh,,,sweaty hand ,,,whoops,,,,,now your hand is glued to your car door....sound like fun????.....sure it is.....is even better when you gotta work outside in it.....

so yeah,,,,,as for an invasion....I sure hope Bush has a good one when he goes to ask congress for 50 billion to install block heaters on all the military equipment, massive supplys of -45 degree windshield washer fluid, and all the wonderful little things that go along with living in a deepfreeze........but ya know.......it could already be in the works already,,,,many many texans up here working in albertas oilpatch......could they be spies?,,,hmmmmmm...will hafta look into this one some more........

after I go throw another log in the fire......

- JG300-Hoppa

so yeah,,,,,as for an invasion....I sure hope Bush has a good one when he goes to ask congress for 50 billion to install block heaters on all the military equipment, massive supplys of -45 degree windshield washer fluid, and all the wonderful little things that go along with living in a deepfreeze

Hoppa...

Not to worry, I'm sure the appropriations would never be made available to keep the U.S. forces supplied with some decent beer, since they can't forage for any there!

lol

LOL Hoppa, I think you just scared off any invaders...lol