±Recent Visitors

Recent Visitors to Com-Central!

±User Info-big


Welcome Anonymous

Nickname
Password

Membership:
Latest: cgsimpson
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 6645

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 643
Total: 643
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Community Forums
02: Home
03: Community Forums
04: Photo Gallery
05: Community Forums
06: Photo Gallery
07: Community Forums
08: Community Forums
09: Community Forums
10: Community Forums
11: Downloads
12: Community Forums
13: Community Forums
14: Community Forums
15: Downloads
16: Community Forums
17: Home
18: Community Forums
19: Community Forums
20: Home
21: Community Forums
22: Community Forums
23: Home
24: Community Forums
25: Community Forums
26: Member Screenshots
27: Community Forums
28: Community Forums
29: Community Forums
30: Community Forums
31: Community Forums
32: Home
33: Photo Gallery
34: Community Forums
35: Community Forums
36: Downloads
37: Community Forums
38: Home
39: Member Screenshots
40: Photo Gallery
41: Photo Gallery
42: Community Forums
43: Community Forums
44: Community Forums
45: Community Forums
46: Community Forums
47: Community Forums
48: Community Forums
49: Member Screenshots
50: Statistics
51: Photo Gallery
52: Photo Gallery
53: Community Forums
54: Photo Gallery
55: Community Forums
56: Community Forums
57: Home
58: Photo Gallery
59: Community Forums
60: Community Forums
61: Community Forums
62: Community Forums
63: Community Forums
64: Community Forums
65: Downloads
66: Community Forums
67: Community Forums
68: Community Forums
69: Downloads
70: Community Forums
71: Community Forums
72: Home
73: Community Forums
74: Community Forums
75: Community Forums
76: Home
77: Community Forums
78: Community Forums
79: Community Forums
80: Community Forums
81: Photo Gallery
82: Community Forums
83: Photo Gallery
84: Community Forums
85: Home
86: Community Forums
87: Home
88: Community Forums
89: Community Forums
90: Community Forums
91: News
92: Community Forums
93: Community Forums
94: Community Forums
95: Community Forums
96: Photo Gallery
97: Your Account
98: Community Forums
99: Statistics
100: Downloads
101: Community Forums
102: Community Forums
103: Photo Gallery
104: Community Forums
105: Photo Gallery
106: Community Forums
107: Home
108: Community Forums
109: Community Forums
110: Photo Gallery
111: Community Forums
112: Community Forums
113: Photo Gallery
114: Community Forums
115: Home
116: Community Forums
117: Community Forums
118: CPGlang
119: Community Forums
120: Downloads
121: Photo Gallery
122: Community Forums
123: Community Forums
124: Home
125: Downloads
126: Community Forums
127: Community Forums
128: Community Forums
129: Community Forums
130: Photo Gallery
131: Home
132: Home
133: Community Forums
134: Statistics
135: Community Forums
136: Community Forums
137: Community Forums
138: Home
139: Home
140: Community Forums
141: Community Forums
142: Community Forums
143: Community Forums
144: Your Account
145: Community Forums
146: Community Forums
147: Photo Gallery
148: Community Forums
149: CPGlang
150: Community Forums
151: Community Forums
152: Community Forums
153: Photo Gallery
154: Community Forums
155: Photo Gallery
156: Community Forums
157: Downloads
158: Community Forums
159: Community Forums
160: Community Forums
161: Community Forums
162: Your Account
163: Photo Gallery
164: Community Forums
165: Community Forums
166: Community Forums
167: Photo Gallery
168: Community Forums
169: Photo Gallery
170: Photo Gallery
171: Community Forums
172: Community Forums
173: Community Forums
174: Photo Gallery
175: Community Forums
176: Community Forums
177: Photo Gallery
178: Community Forums
179: Community Forums
180: Community Forums
181: Community Forums
182: Community Forums
183: Photo Gallery
184: Community Forums
185: Downloads
186: Community Forums
187: Photo Gallery
188: Community Forums
189: Photo Gallery
190: Community Forums
191: Your Account
192: Community Forums
193: Community Forums
194: Photo Gallery
195: Community Forums
196: Community Forums
197: Community Forums
198: Community Forums
199: Downloads
200: Community Forums
201: Home
202: Community Forums
203: Community Forums
204: Community Forums
205: Community Forums
206: Community Forums
207: Photo Gallery
208: Community Forums
209: Community Forums
210: Statistics
211: Home
212: Community Forums
213: Community Forums
214: Photo Gallery
215: News
216: Photo Gallery
217: Community Forums
218: Photo Gallery
219: Photo Gallery
220: Community Forums
221: Home
222: Community Forums
223: Home
224: Community Forums
225: Member Screenshots
226: Home
227: Community Forums
228: Home
229: Downloads
230: Community Forums
231: Community Forums
232: Community Forums
233: Community Forums
234: Home
235: Community Forums
236: Community Forums
237: Community Forums
238: Community Forums
239: Community Forums
240: Community Forums
241: Community Forums
242: Community Forums
243: Community Forums
244: Community Forums
245: Downloads
246: Community Forums
247: Community Forums
248: Community Forums
249: Downloads
250: Downloads
251: Community Forums
252: Community Forums
253: Home
254: Photo Gallery
255: Your Account
256: Community Forums
257: Community Forums
258: Member Screenshots
259: Photo Gallery
260: Community Forums
261: Community Forums
262: Member Screenshots
263: Community Forums
264: Downloads
265: Community Forums
266: Photo Gallery
267: Photo Gallery
268: Your Account
269: Home
270: Community Forums
271: Member Screenshots
272: News Archive
273: Your Account
274: Downloads
275: Community Forums
276: Photo Gallery
277: Community Forums
278: Home
279: Community Forums
280: Community Forums
281: Community Forums
282: Photo Gallery
283: Community Forums
284: Community Forums
285: Community Forums
286: Community Forums
287: Downloads
288: Community Forums
289: Member Screenshots
290: Downloads
291: Photo Gallery
292: Photo Gallery
293: Community Forums
294: Community Forums
295: Community Forums
296: Community Forums
297: Community Forums
298: Community Forums
299: Photo Gallery
300: Community Forums
301: Your Account
302: Community Forums
303: Community Forums
304: Community Forums
305: Community Forums
306: Community Forums
307: Community Forums
308: Community Forums
309: Community Forums
310: Community Forums
311: Community Forums
312: Community Forums
313: Community Forums
314: Community Forums
315: Community Forums
316: Home
317: Community Forums
318: Your Account
319: Community Forums
320: Community Forums
321: Home
322: Community Forums
323: Your Account
324: Community Forums
325: Photo Gallery
326: Community Forums
327: Community Forums
328: Community Forums
329: Member Screenshots
330: Photo Gallery
331: Community Forums
332: Photo Gallery
333: Community Forums
334: Community Forums
335: Community Forums
336: CPGlang
337: Photo Gallery
338: Community Forums
339: Community Forums
340: Home
341: Community Forums
342: Home
343: Community Forums
344: Community Forums
345: Community Forums
346: Community Forums
347: Community Forums
348: Community Forums
349: Photo Gallery
350: Community Forums
351: Photo Gallery
352: Photo Gallery
353: Photo Gallery
354: Community Forums
355: Community Forums
356: Photo Gallery
357: Community Forums
358: Photo Gallery
359: Community Forums
360: Community Forums
361: Home
362: Community Forums
363: Community Forums
364: Community Forums
365: Community Forums
366: Your Account
367: Home
368: Community Forums
369: Home
370: Community Forums
371: Home
372: Community Forums
373: Home
374: Downloads
375: Community Forums
376: Community Forums
377: Photo Gallery
378: Community Forums
379: Photo Gallery
380: Downloads
381: Community Forums
382: Community Forums
383: Community Forums
384: Photo Gallery
385: Photo Gallery
386: Home
387: Community Forums
388: Community Forums
389: Downloads
390: Community Forums
391: Photo Gallery
392: Community Forums
393: Community Forums
394: Community Forums
395: Community Forums
396: Community Forums
397: Downloads
398: Statistics
399: News
400: Community Forums
401: Photo Gallery
402: Community Forums
403: Community Forums
404: Home
405: Community Forums
406: Community Forums
407: Home
408: Photo Gallery
409: Photo Gallery
410: Your Account
411: Member Screenshots
412: Community Forums
413: Home
414: Home
415: Photo Gallery
416: Community Forums
417: Community Forums
418: Community Forums
419: Home
420: Photo Gallery
421: Photo Gallery
422: Community Forums
423: Community Forums
424: Downloads
425: Community Forums
426: Community Forums
427: Community Forums
428: Community Forums
429: Community Forums
430: Your Account
431: Photo Gallery
432: Community Forums
433: Photo Gallery
434: Community Forums
435: Home
436: Community Forums
437: Community Forums
438: Community Forums
439: Community Forums
440: Community Forums
441: Community Forums
442: Community Forums
443: Community Forums
444: Community Forums
445: Photo Gallery
446: Community Forums
447: Community Forums
448: Community Forums
449: Community Forums
450: Home
451: Community Forums
452: Community Forums
453: Community Forums
454: Community Forums
455: Photo Gallery
456: Community Forums
457: Photo Gallery
458: Photo Gallery
459: Community Forums
460: Home
461: Downloads
462: Community Forums
463: Community Forums
464: Photo Gallery
465: Community Forums
466: Photo Gallery
467: Community Forums
468: Community Forums
469: Community Forums
470: Community Forums
471: Community Forums
472: Community Forums
473: Photo Gallery
474: Community Forums
475: Photo Gallery
476: Community Forums
477: Photo Gallery
478: Community Forums
479: Photo Gallery
480: Community Forums
481: Home
482: Community Forums
483: Photo Gallery
484: Photo Gallery
485: Community Forums
486: CPGlang
487: Community Forums
488: Home
489: Community Forums
490: Home
491: Photo Gallery
492: Community Forums
493: Your Account
494: Community Forums
495: Community Forums
496: Community Forums
497: Community Forums
498: Community Forums
499: Community Forums
500: Photo Gallery
501: Community Forums
502: Community Forums
503: Community Forums
504: Home
505: Community Forums
506: Community Forums
507: Community Forums
508: Photo Gallery
509: News Archive
510: Community Forums
511: Community Forums
512: Downloads
513: Downloads
514: Home
515: Community Forums
516: Member Screenshots
517: Community Forums
518: Photo Gallery
519: Photo Gallery
520: Community Forums
521: Community Forums
522: Community Forums
523: Downloads
524: Community Forums
525: Home
526: Photo Gallery
527: Community Forums
528: Community Forums
529: CPGlang
530: Downloads
531: Community Forums
532: Community Forums
533: Community Forums
534: Community Forums
535: Community Forums
536: Community Forums
537: Community Forums
538: Your Account
539: Member Screenshots
540: News Archive
541: Member Screenshots
542: Community Forums
543: Community Forums
544: Community Forums
545: Community Forums
546: Community Forums
547: Community Forums
548: Home
549: Community Forums
550: Your Account
551: Community Forums
552: Community Forums
553: Community Forums
554: Community Forums
555: Community Forums
556: Community Forums
557: Community Forums
558: Home
559: Community Forums
560: Home
561: Downloads
562: Community Forums
563: Downloads
564: Community Forums
565: Community Forums
566: Community Forums
567: Community Forums
568: Community Forums
569: Community Forums
570: Community Forums
571: Community Forums
572: Community Forums
573: Community Forums
574: Photo Gallery
575: Community Forums
576: Community Forums
577: Community Forums
578: Statistics
579: News Archive
580: Community Forums
581: Community Forums
582: Downloads
583: Community Forums
584: Community Forums
585: Home
586: Home
587: Home
588: Community Forums
589: Community Forums
590: Photo Gallery
591: Community Forums
592: Photo Gallery
593: Community Forums
594: Home
595: CPGlang
596: Photo Gallery
597: Community Forums
598: Community Forums
599: Community Forums
600: Photo Gallery
601: CPGlang
602: Community Forums
603: Photo Gallery
604: Community Forums
605: Community Forums
606: Community Forums
607: Community Forums
608: News
609: Community Forums
610: Community Forums
611: Community Forums
612: Photo Gallery
613: Community Forums
614: Community Forums
615: Community Forums
616: Community Forums
617: Photo Gallery
618: Community Forums
619: Home
620: Community Forums
621: Downloads
622: Community Forums
623: Community Forums
624: Downloads
625: Community Forums
626: Your Account
627: Community Forums
628: Community Forums
629: Community Forums
630: Your Account
631: Home
632: Community Forums
633: Your Account
634: Home
635: Community Forums
636: Community Forums
637: Community Forums
638: Photo Gallery
639: Photo Gallery
640: Community Forums
641: Community Forums
642: Community Forums
643: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
TC's Corner #5- "Come on back now, ya hear!" :: Archived
A general meeting place for all pilots!
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page     Forum Index ›  Officer's Club

Topic Archived View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Shadow_Bshwackr
Janitor

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7015
Location: Central Illinois, USA
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 5:48 am
Post subject: TC's Corner #5- "Come on back now, ya hear!"

Here's TC's Corner #5 everyone and it's called, "Come on back now, ya hear!"

"Come on back now, ya hear!"

And yes it is again time for another TC's Corner, and this week I'm going to address the prospective "Rookie Kilter Purchaser."

We start off as a "Purchaser" whom we shall call "Fred." Now Fred is a Grade "A" loser on the Zone as well as in life. He has no education, not much of a job, no girl friend, no dignity, no hair, and no hope. So of course our friend Fred is in desperate need of "that little edge" that will make him that "WINNER" that he has always dreamed he would and should be ... and especially on the Zone.

Fred has been flying and dying on the Zone for about two months now and has become a Grade "AA" loser. He has joined and left 3 CFS squadrons saying "That jerk commander should have made me a 4 star general by now. I'll show him, I'll fly as a 'Lone Wolf.'"
So Fred goes in search of "that little edge" that will make him the "WINNER" and not the opposite.

Fred checks out all the usual places, like Ikie Inlines, Bruno Superforts, and CrowFoots Mods to no avail. Ikie's planes had too many guns, Bruno's were too realistic, and CrowFoots were way to maneuverable. "I just want a plane that is just right, not too many guns, certainly not realistic and not so maneuverable that I'll be accused of flying a mod." thought Fred to himself. Fred went on with his fruitless search for "that little edge" all the time getting less education, less money, fewer girls, less dignity, substantially less hair, and with hope so far out of the picture he had forgotten completely about it.

One day while routinely dying on the Zone, Fred happens to overhear this guy named "TC" talking about a "Rookie Kilter" and that it was just "tweaked", so that it had "that little edge" but wasn't noticeable as a mod. So Fred decided to visit TC's Master Kilter Builter Emplorium.

When Fred gets there he can't believe his eyes! As he enters the showroom, he sees a dozen of the most beautiful, magnificent, powerful Rookie Killing machines that he has ever laid eyes on! Then Fred spots this odd looking fellow dressed in black sitting at a desk in the corner with some sort of green fumes rising from what appears to be his socks. As Fred worked his way through the fumes, he confronted the little old man at the desk. "Sir," said Fred suppressing a gasping cough, "I’m looking for TC, are you TC?"
The little old man never looked up and said, "You found him pal, now what’s can I do for ya?" "Well, I've been told you have these here killers for sale." Fred said as his eyes were watering and his breathing increased to a point of near hyperventilation.

"They ain't 'killers' Pally, they're 'Kilters.' And yeah I got 'em. Whatchya here for?" TC said as he spun around and leaned back in his custom made Italian Designer chair and then tilted up his hat so he could see Fred better. "I'm in the market to buy me one!" Fred said in a determined tone of voice. TC creaked up from his seat, walked around to the front of the desk, and let Fred lay eyes on the most beautiful pair of Italian Rookie Kilten Shoes he had ever seen.

"So," began TC, "been getten yer fanny flamed Pally? That’s why they all come here sooner or later. So Pally, how much money ya got?" "Um, do you take Master Visa Express?" said Fred as he fumbled to get out his plastic preferred ‘copper’ card.
"Well now Pally, we might have to put you into a slightly used Kilter AND I got just the Kilter for you. Follow me, pal." Said TC as he pushed his way past Fred and out into the showroom walking down the hall.

Fred closely followed TC past all the shiny sleek Kilters, past the slightly used kilters that were sort of shiny, past the standard kilters that were dripping oil and full of dents, past the rows of kilters that were lying in pieces for scrap parts, and into a back room where they finally arrived at their destination.

There it was! It was covered in cobwebs and dust was a genuine re-furbished, re-painted, re-fitted, re-oiled, re-tuned, re-armed re-done Rookie Kilter.

"So, what ya think, Pally?" asked TC with a big smile. There was a small opening in the hanger letting sunlight in from the outside hitting TC’s gold front tooth and bouncing a gold beacon all over the walls.
"Er, um, well it looks kinda worn out Mr. TC." said Fred as he was eyeing the ungainly flying machine with a suspicious glare.
"Oh, you got it all wrong, Pally. This plane is tried and true! AND Pal, it’s already broken in, served under the stresses of ultra-Rookie Kilting and survived to tell the tale. This here Kilter has proved itself worthy, taken hits, kept on Kilting them Rookies, and never stopped to rest. What we have here Pally is a winner, with 'that little edge,' YES, a real WINNER of an airplane....

And that was the secret word Fred was waiting to hear, and the echo of "winner" reverberated long in his ears and Fred never heard the rest of what TC was saying. Fred looked up at TC with a vague smile on his face and said without hesitation, "I'll take it Mr. TC!"
"Fine choice, Pally, she’s a ‘beaut’, sign here in triplicate, and don't pay any mind to the small print." Which Fred ignored anyway as his excitement was growing by the second!

Ten minutes later Fred wheeled his only slightly worn and broken in Rookie Kilter out onto the runway. He thought to himself ... "3000 horsepower! ... Eight 20-mm cannons! .... Oh boy!" Fred could hardly stand it, he was so excited and finally he was going to get the recognition he deserved!

"Jump in and take it up for a test ride Pally." said TC as he was putting the signed contract in his 100% genuine polyester Leisure suit coat pocket. Fred sparked his slightly used Rookie Kilter up, and started his take-off roll. He watched his airspeed indicator go up like it was a tachometer! 50 .... 60 .... 70 .... 80 ... BOOM! All of a sudden black smoke, oil, nuts, bolts, pistons, and cylinders start flying from the accelerating broken-in Rookie Kilter. The blazing empennage comes to sudden but quick stop as the ‘Rookie Kilter’ is now a smoldering and festering mess of metal and luckily for Fred, throwing him out onto the tarmac.

Fred has now become a Grade "AAA" loser, and after he regained some conciseness, bruised and battered he tried to return the Kilter! Fred’s reasoning was for "slight malfunctions pertaining perhaps to the over-broken-in-ness of the machine" and TC readily agreed.

"However", as TC pointed out, "the small print of the contract indicated a "Full 30-Minute Refund Policy to the Purchaser of any of TC's Rookie Kilters. With a Complete Money Back Guarantee to be redeemed on the Sixth Sunday of any month that starts with the letter 'C' in a total lunar eclipse after the sixth Saturday of any month beginning with the letter 'B' after a stampede of wild boars in Antarctica."

"Hehe, see you Pally!" TC said as he folded the contract up and shoved it back in his genuine 100% polyester Leisure suit jacket pocket and strolled towards his office to get ready for the next "Fred". "See you after the stampede, and come on back now, ya hear!" he added as his laugh echoed down the hall.

PGTigercat

Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
CrashEd
CrasherMaster

Offline Offline
Joined: Nov 13, 2004
Posts: 450

PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 5:59 am
Post subject: Re: TC's Corner #5- "Come on back now, ya hear!"

LOL a true classic.

_________________


Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index ›  Officer's Club
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 6 Hours

Archive Revive
Username:
This is an archived topic - your reply will not be appended here.
Instead, a new topic will be generated in the active forum.
The new topic will provide a reference link to this archived topic.